Exits

Now the sea eats the sky

But they say it's a lie

And there's no birds left to fly

We'll hide out

The weather is against us

We build houses underground

And flowers upside down

In our dreams

In the eye of the storm

In the land where you were born

We try to make no sound

We hide out

Oh, to dream this all off

In the islands of the mind

The places they can't find

We'll hide out

The black sky came down

The cities underground

The flowers upside down

In our dreams

Oh, to meet you again

To pass you on the stairs

To see you everywhere

In my dreams

'Cause they watch us in sleep

And the language that we speak

And the secrets that we keep to ourselves

In our dreams

In our dreams

I said I'm sorry

To have kept you waiting around

I wish I could've come up

I could've shouted out loud

But they got exits covered

All the exits underground

I wish I could figure it out

But the world's upside down

In a world upside down

Foals - Exits

/ Go light the fire, and watch it explode. /

The main song of January and the main event of 2019. Just last year I opened these guys, but it seems that they were with me every minute of my life when I was truly happy.

I adore this track. So incredibly fine, flowing, tuneful, multi-layered, transgressive and just one of a kind.

I continue to listen it even when it is not playing. This music turns my world upside down, brings everything where it belongs and always plays in my dreams.

I love you, guys. The year illuminated by your music will be incredible.

Prince

I relate to your kind, your design

Your devotion to wave

Get your brain on the Prize

Then dive inside...

The mindset of a killer

With your mind out of phase

It's a game that we like, we crave

Yet nobody wins

Anyway you decide you try

But you DIE...

The mindset of a killer

With your gaze you paint the room

Blood red with your tears

Pouring from the stage

And you can't stop now, rung by rung, almost out

Covered in black and gold, no one cares and no one knows

My gift to the world outside, it's okay I'm all right

Now open your empty hands

Here comes the fun, here comes the end

Click erase the device, give thanks

Then clear out the room

Blow kisses, wave them goodbye... GOODNIGHT...

Goodnight... GOODNIGHT

Mindset of a killer

With your gaze, you paint the room

Blood red with your tears

Pour from the stage

And you can't stop now, rung by rung, almost out

Covered in black and gold, no one cares and no one knows

My gift to the world outside, it's okay I'm all right

Now open your empty hands

Here comes the fun, here comes the end

Deftones - Prince

/ One lives in the hope of becoming a memory. /

I will never make a point in this history. And I'll say a hundred times how badly I love them. For his entrancing voice, nebulous lyrics, absolutely intense and viscous music, raw feeling and incredible deep and dark atmosphere. They have everything I ever wanted.

You've Seen the Butcher

Don't wanna take it slow

I wanna take you home

And watch the world explode

From underneath your glow

I wanna watch you close

I need to see for sure

And then the tape is on

Who do you think we could show

I wanna watch the way

You creep across my skull

You slowly enter

'Cause you know my room

And then crawl your knees off

Before you shake my tomb

I wanna watch the way

You creep across my skull

You slowly enter

'Cause you know my room

And then crawl your knees off

Before you shake my tomb

Deftones - You've Seen the Butcher

/ Stars, hide your fires; Let not light see my black and deep desires. /

I was captured by this song, lost in the darkness in which it envelops me, lost my mind, but found something much more.

Chino's voice takes me away. That riff can't leave my ears after the song ends. 

Deftones never cease to blow me away and show me what the real love and craving are.

I'm absolutely deftones-obsessed and it feels unbearable good.

Bad Machine

I fell by the wayside

I fell in the gutter

Lost all of my money

And I lost my lover

I met a stranger

Who bet double or nothing

I just wanna be someone

I just wanna be something

You cracked your whip

You sucked your thumb

You blew me a kiss

And the jig was up

I broke both my ankles on the way down

It was a long way down

Such a long way down

I'll never say sorry

Cause I'll never be free

You float like a butterfly

You sting like a bee

You're everywhere I go

You're always watching me

Get the hell out of my head

Get the hell out of my head

And I'm just a puppet

Who's drunk on his dreams

I'll never say sorry

I'll never be free

I'm through being sober

Because what's in it for me

I'll never say sorry

I'll never be free

Boston Manor - Bad Machine

/ Falling into ruin was a bit like falling in love: Both descents stripped you bare and left you as you were at your core. And both endings are equally painful. /

Ну что же... Это одна из лучших песен ушедшего года. Я не могу разгадать ее секрета. Сколько силы, эмоций, отчаяния сокрыто в этой музыке. Она обрушивается на тебя с силой урагана, сбивая с ног, и ты словно пытаешься удержаться на месте, восхищаясь ее простоте, силе и отчаянной красоте.

И я бы сказала: "Уходи из моей головы, не своди меня с ума, не разрывай меня на части...". В этой песне больше того, что я могу вместить в себя...  Но ведь я хочу этого. Ведь больше всего на свете я ценю красоту и чувства, которые причиняют настоящую боль. 

The Missing Man

Lights wanted, wailing we

Wept high as the sky

And the sky

Beloved, weeping eye

Gazed high in the sky

And the sky cried back

I've wanted orphan tears

Like mine, raise the tide

Raise the tide

Once-wishing, wistful eye

Sang high, raise the tide

'Til the sea's mouth dried

There's a missing man

Easy to find (Easy to)

There's a dying man

Easy to find, with eyes like mine

Sickened by these sharks

Sickened by these crimes

Sickened by these eyes

Quite resembling mine

There's a missing man

Easy to find (Easy to)

There's a dying man

Easy to find, with eyes like mine

/ Счастливый финал для жизни, которая заканчивается в бесконечности. /

AFI - The Missing Man

Какой странный и прекрасный период внезапно наступил в моей жизни. Наполненный мраком безлунных ночей и яркой белизной заснеженных дней, наполненный непреодолимой печалью и безграничным счастьем. И судьба снова дарит мне случайную встречу с такими далекими, но все еще такими дорогими моему сердцу воспоминаниями, связанными с музыкой и так тесно переплетенными с зимой. С возвращением в Decemberunderground.

Еще одна группа, которая невероятно сильно связана у меня ностальгией, печалью, поисками себя и умиротворяющим зимним безмолвием... Напоминающая о том, как много хорошего и прекрасного осталось позади. О том, как быстро бежит время и все вокруг меняется.. Жизнь, люди вокруг, ты сам... Но внутри тебя всегда остается уголок, в котором всегда хранится все самое дорогое и главное для тебя. Наверное, в этом месте всегда медленно падает снег и все освещено сказочным сиянием фонарей... А там дальше, он постепенно исчезает во сумраке, но возможно, в этой тьме еще можно разглядеть очертания прекрасного мира, залитые холодным лунным светом... Такой он, мой Decemberunderground.

Ребята, я так рада этой встрече, я так рада, что вы так же бережно храните все, что было, в своей музыке. И продолжаете нести ее сквозь года. Истинную, неувядающую и безгранично прекрасную.

Harmonic Sleep Engine

 

“I love to watch the fine mist of the night come on,
The windows and the stars illumined, one by one,
The rivers of dark smoke pour upward lazily,
And the moon rise and turn them silver. I shall see
The springs, the summers, and the autumns slowly pass;
And when old Winter puts his blank face to the glass,
I shall close all my shutters, pull the curtains tight,
And build me stately palaces by candlelight.”

Night Verses - Harmonic Sleep Engine

/ Melancholy were the sounds on a winter's night. /

This beauty has just broke my heart... Words can't describe how musch I love this band. They are nothing but a deepest dream and the brightest star in the sky, the only one that always attracts my eyes...

Winterstead

What a beautiful and peacefull evening... The evening, when I was finally imbued with silence, greatness and serene atmosphere of winter.

Walking steadily along the paths covered with snow, glittering like star dust under the muffled golden lights of night lanterns, gazing at the distant city lights that are so resemble to constellations in the endless and unattainable sky, breathing in this atmosphere of memory and tranquility along with the cold winter air. Imagining that there are only few more steps left, and there, beyond the horizon, you will see a mountain range, majestic and ancient, and somewhere among its spurs, lost in enchanted forests, the fraternity of travelers moving into the greatest journey...

And precisely today I've discovered music of unbeliavable beauty, that embraced the very soul of cold winter evenings and distant journeys to fables and magic, faith and craving for which still lives in our souls since the days of far childhood and wakes up in such amazing evenings...

"This music travels you to a place where winter reigns supreme and is without end; a place where magic is real and strong. It feels like a journey to a mountain covered with snow and ancient trees. The ascension to the mountain is challenging and full of adventurous twists and turns, as you never know what the next corner hides. When you finally reach your destination, you are greeted by firelights gloaming from the townspeople’s huts. Just before you visit the lodge, filled with all types of characters from hunters to tradesmen, you take a deep breath and look around you; the snow-capped mountain peaks dwarf the giant sequoia trees towering above you. The feeling of mystique is so palpable and there is a sense of darkness in the air. However, everything is so enchanting that you can’t wait to step into that lodge, sit in front of the fireplace and listen to tales about what roams the uncharted lands before you."

I Don't Wanna Be in Love

Just say the word if you wanna go

Go and fall in love with someone else

Go on and find someone better

Who can keep you warm

Who can give you more

Yeah, we both know it's not enough

Fall asleep in the shadows of something beautiful

'Til its not enough

I only see you in black and white

Like a photograph of another life

If all that we are is two matching scars

Lines in a movie

The same favorite song, we both sing along

Then I don't wanna be in love

No I don't wanna be in love

I'd rather be alone than build a broken home

Been holding onto you like I could never let you go

Say what you wanna say

Show what you never show

Let's be honest here and say what we already know

Your heart is somewhere else, it's not like I couldn't tell

Can't give you all my love when I don't even love myself

Trapped in each others arms, we got the best of us

We keep each other warm, but we both know it's not enough

If all that we are is two matching scars

Lines in a movie

The same favorite song, we both sing along

Then I don't wanna be in love

E-eh, no I don't wanna be in love

Dark Waves - I Don't Wanna Be in Love

/ The truth was, she now belonged only to my past, and it was time I begin to accept it, as much as it hurt to do so. /

I love the tenderness, longing and elusive warmth of this song. It's fragility and simplicity, but at the same time it's strength and beauty. It sounds like feelings and emotions that were once so alive and so beautiful, but now they're fading away with every day... And leaving your heart, they continue to torment your thoughts. And all you want is to to find peace and cast them aside. And do not ever recall them again.

Muse of Solitude

My life, composed of small solitary joys,
Violent romances, blessed and deep silences,
A abundance of poetry, moments of insanity and disillusion,
Will be always painful, always beautiful -
Will be the ultimate ode, before all others
Which rises from the depths of my own -
The moments themselves, which make up my life,
Before my body, cristallized in time,
In the endlessness that goes forward.

I will just leave it here...

I felt that I breathed an atmosphere of solitude and beheld an immense beauty... Beauty that has reached the most sacred depths of my heart. So fragile, so mysterious, so lonely... So unfathomable.
And this music, oh, this music... So majestic ans ancient, it fills the spaces between with something much greater than anyone could ever put in words...

Now I know how my muse looks like... She is incarnation of everything I've ever loved and searched for. 

“Yet, no matter how deeply I go down into myself, my God is dark, and like a webbing made of a hundred roots that drink in silence.”