Being Human Is Weird

 

A hot breath on the back of my neck by
Someone pushing his way to the bar
And to my left, somebody's father is pressing
Right up against someone's daughter with shark eyes

And now I'm smoking too much
It's the only excuse
I have to get away from filling my black lungs
With cheap perfume

And now everybody's talking
But no one's saying a damn thing
Just taking turns reciting something absurd
That they heard once
The things that I would do just to get inside
Of some woman's blurred view
And all the things that I would do
To get out once I actually do

And I... I'm over it
And now I... I'm over it
And I... I'm over it
And now I... I'm over it

I'll buy a drink for a stranger
She's been giving me eyes all night
Maybe give her an empty line

Now I'm part of it
I'm part of it
Now I'm part of it
(And now everybody's talking
But no one's saying a damn thing)
I'm part of it
(Just taking turns reciting something absurd
That they heard once)
Now I'm part of it
(The things that I would do just to get inside
Of some woman's blurred view)
I'm part of it
(And all the things that I would do to get out)

OWEL - Being Human Is Weird

This song has so easily captivated me with its touching and sincere simplicity, perfectly complemented by incredibly sophisticated and sublime musical patterns. There is something so familiar in this melody, something so soulful in this voice, but at the same time something so unattainable beautiful hovers above. And it seems to me that this song is a story of a cute and shy guy from the house next door, a boy who you have known for so long that it seems that he cannot be anything more than you use to see in him... But one day he inadvertently opens his sad soul permeated with pain and scattering of dreams imprisoned in it to you. A soul that has become a home for all the unnoticed beauty of this world. And you watch with a sinking heart as a storm is forming in your heart, tearing off the last veils of self-control from your soul. And now it's not so easy to just take your eyes off him. Just like I can't stop listening to this song...

 

How Do You Know

 

You said you'd hate to see me drown in the river

I've got news for you sister

I don't want to either

You said the size of the buildings will dwarf me

And the shadows with cloak me

And the fumes will choke me

You said I never even tried one time

How do you know?

How do you know I never?

Maybe the sights will make me star-struck

Maybe you're right:

I'll come unstuck

And run out of luck

But maybe I'll use the shadows to shade me

Use the river to float me

And be the blood that runs through me

You said I never even tried one time

How do you know?

How do you know I never? 

 Gaoler's Daughter - How Do You Know

I found this old box covered with dust, ran my hand over it, feeling a bitter-sweet sensation melted with all-consuming sense of sadness and nostalgia steal over me, spreading from my fingertips. And I just wanted to pass it by, because all these feelings and images are still so real, but at the last moment I nevertheless decided to look into it, not even imagining that I was opening Pandora's box with devilishly seductive and angelically charming music that took me into its radiant depths, swirling me in its sparkling whirlpool, woven from memories of youth, the spirit of freedom, tart sweetness and charming audacity, giving the dizzying feeling that everything is possible and life is fiilled with so many hauntingly beautiful stories to discover.
And yes, yes, yes: this album is one of the best things I've ever heard and one of the sweetest things I've ever tasted.

If [Loss] Then [Leader]

If you lay down
You are never waking up and that's where you're gonna be
If you close your eyes
You will never see it out if that's what you wanna see
If you fall down
You are never crawling out if that's where you wanna be
If your palms are down, you should never lift them up
All hail the tragedy

I never knew that I was upside down
Call out the sleeping soul, wake up the sleeping sun
Lies die, lies resuscitate lies forever
And everything else will end

Manipulator, do you understand brazen truth?
You love things you don't understand
Lies die, lies resuscitate lies forever
I have an interesting analogy
Love is painful, always
And everything else will end
Everything else
Everything else
Everything will end

If you lay down
You are never waking up and that's where you're gonna be
If you close your eyes
You will never see it out if that's what you wanna see
If you fall down
You are never crawling out if that's where you wanna be
If your palms are down, you should never lift them up
All hail the tragedy

I could never run as fast as the light finds black
So leave me lightless
Kick up the dust into the emptiness
And forget your history
I just want to look into its lying eyes
Embrace me longer
Kick up the dust into its empty gaze
Yeah, that's where the fall begins

Lies die, lies resuscitate lies forever

Norma Jean - If [Loss] Then [Leader]

Oh, the overwhelming emotions of his voice and piercing tragedy of these lyrics resonate in my heart with such force that if it were made of diamond it would still be covered with cracks, if it were made of marble it would still crumble to dust... So listening to this song, I try to save myself, gripping my chest tightly with both hands... But it can hardly help me. So hold tight, girl, there is no salvation once you heard this.

Hickory Creek

It's so hard to let go
You can hear me but I'm invisible
But if you dig out your eyes, maybe pain will subside
The worst that could happen is you never see me again
But the worst is yet to come, my friend

This path I walk is comforting
But now I'm left to sing this song alone
I'm fading faster now

I left so long ago
You never noticed I was gone
Now that you don't have eyes, maybe now you'll realize
Within your own head, you're creating these lies
For what it's worth, you're still beautiful
But beauty lies within the eyes

This path I walk is comforting
But now I'm left to sing this song alone
I'm fading faster now
It's time to walk away with nothing left
Nothing left in my soul
I've faded into myself

This path I walk is comforting
But now I'm left to sing this song alone
I'm fading faster now
It's time to walk away with nothing left
Nothing left in my soul
I'm fading faster now

Whitechapel - Hickory Creek

Let me find a shelter in the velvet shroud of your voice telling stories about unbearable pain, about the inevitability of losses, about the inexorable run of time... But at the same time reminding me that memory and beauty will live forever... Sublime and beauty, unbreakable strength and soothing gentleness that permeates every word you say hurt and cure me at the same time. And I'm paralyzed with the beauty within these lines...

 

Lux and Row

Medicines trapped in our bones

Can't wait till the other side to take it

The ground beneath gives weight to the catacombs

I’m praying this is not your fault

I mean it

Easy as it comes

They'll find a way

Easy as it goes

We'll take it

An effigy

I am the hunter

I drank the oceans dry to taste it

The thoughts between here and what fills your cup

I’m praying this is not your fault

Believe it

Easy as it comes

They'll find a way

Easy as it goes

We'll take it

And I never meant to

thoughtcrimes - Lux and Row

My new obsession, another black hole on my night skies full of stars. Desire to constanly hear this painfully mysterious voice driftig on the dark velvet waves flowing over the abyss is so acute that it became despair...

My Name is Dark

So, we party when the sun goes low
Imminent annihilation sounds so dope
Oh, I'm not shy but I refuse to speak
Because I don't trust you to understand me

Every city has a place like this
Underneath the bridges where the tainted kiss
Put on "Bullet with Butterfly Wings"
So that I can sing along while I break things

You know me as the girl who plays with fire
But this is the song I wrote you in the dark

(I hear they're calling my name)
I'm not gonna sleep anymore
I'm not gonna sleep anymore
The boys are such a bore, the girls are such a bore
I never trust the government and pray to God for sure, yeah
I don't need to sleep anymore
That's what the drugs are for

Paradise on my right, and hell on my left
The angel of death, right behind me
Paradise on my right, hell on my left
And the angel of death, she said to God
"Un-fuck the world, un-fuck the world
You stupid girl, you stupid girl"

I'm not gonna sleep anymore
I'm not gonna sleep anymore
The boys are such a bore, the girls are such a bore
I never trust the government and pray to God for sure, yeah

Grimes - My Name is Dark

 / It is by no means an irrational fancy that, in a future existence, we shall look upon what we think our present existence, as a dream. /

Everything in this world collapses and falls into oblivion, all unbridled feelings and heightened emotions become fettered by strong shackles of getting used to, colors cease to be bright when you look at them for a long time, everything unusual becomes so familiar and does not touch you anymore... Therefore, I dream so much to keep that feeling of delight and slightly upturn on this incredible song that has not ceased to sound in my head for so many days now...

I love the music of this art angel. And I hope it will take me a lot of time to quench my thirst from this inexhaustible source of her crazy irrational talent, a non-standard perception of the world and surreal beauty.

Vantablack

Poisonous eyes
Lay your poisonous eyes on me
And taint me if you dare
Ya' taint me if you're so smart
Scotch and soda in my blood
Where, can, I, get
Some more

I'm taking you home
I'm taking you home
I'm making a point
I'm taking you

Please allow me to play with my shiny stainless blade
And stroke your marble skin
And feel the steel slide between your thighs

Hush
You are not leaving this couch
Shut up
Or I'll smash every tooth in your mouth

Let me do a little dance
Let me show you some romance
Let me be a gentleman
Let me put on some jazz
Let me fetch some candles
Let me turn up the heat
Let me light up a Partagrás
Let me tie your ankles
Let me treat you like a queen

The pulse
The pulse in your throat
The pulse
The pulse in your throat
Beating louder now
Beating faster now
Beating faster

Digging my fingers
Deeper
Ever deeper
Into the flesh of your neck
Panting, both of us, panting
Panting
The pulse in your throat
Beating slower now
Beating slower now
Beating slower now

Perturbator - Vantablack

My consciousness now is a dark room, from the window of which a view of the night city opens, showing throught a veil of rain, rising through a mystical haze of fog gleaming in the impenetrable cold and lifeless, but such an alluring light of neon signs that promise you to tell all the secrets of the night city and the dark sides of human souls...

And this room - as my mind and my heart - is filled from edge to edge with the sounds of synthwave music - bewitchingly beautiful, dark, possessive and uncompromising. And as if in order to finally subjugate me to its will, this insinuating, painfully mysterious and delightfully exciting male voice weaves its way through this transcendental music. And gosh, this voice is so piercingly real, as if its mysterious overawing owner is hiding in the shadown of this room... And this darkness is so real that you can touch it... It's so tempting that you want to touch it.

The Constrictor

Divided I'm carelessly counting my sins
The sight of growing too old to begin
Sentenced to find the one that is gold
In a pile of nothing.

To our hearts we wreck we're reborn
I grow inside you I feel nothing
And when I'm born I will be ready

There's not enough of a reason to be ugly
I'll crucify you and burn until you're nothing
And if my body is bruised would you believe me that
I am more than you and what you're reading

Medic I feel headless
Leave me

Divided I'm carelessly counting my sins
The sight of growing too old to begin

And if the world never died
I'd live long enough to forget what its shape is
I lost each one of my eyes
In a world mind versus the question

Oceana - The Constrictor

My savior. Music that is not connected with anything in my life, but which seems to have always been with me. Music to soothe a broken heart. Music, to fill a devastated consciousness. My place between heaven and hell.

Lost Boy

I want to know if you can change your life and not betray your own soul
I just want to know but i don't care who you are.
I want to know if you can see the beauty and don't hide your eyes
I don't want to know how did you get here.

I don't care what you have lived
I don't care how old you are

I want to know if you stayed open after betrayals of life
I just want to know but i don't care who you are.
I want to know if you still want to risk and lose your way home
I don't want to know how did you get here.

I don't care what you have lived
I want to know what you are now

Be Forest - Lost Boy

Как насчет абсолютной свободы и возможности бесконечно двигаться вперед по извилистой дороге, которая может привести тебя туда, куда ты только мог мечтать? Как насчет нескончаемого лета, теплого аромата земли после дождя, сливающегося с вдохновенным и волнующим благоуханием цветов? Пылинок, танцующих в золотых лучах послеполуденного солнца, ветра, колышущего колосья в необъятных полях? Как насчет величественных горных гряд, тающих в голубом мареве? Таинственной морской глади, уносящей твой взор в бесконечность, а твое сердце - в непроглядную тьму морских пучин? Как насчет густых лесов, в листе которых так причудливо тень и свет переплетаются между собой...? Как насчет тихого дыхания вечерних сумерок, наконец-то приносящих с собой долгожданную прохладу и окрашивающих все вокруг в цвета из иных миров...? Как насчет бесконечности ночного неба над головой, усыпанной миллионами звезд, окутанной незримой дымкой, состоящая из непостижимых тайн и загадок, таких же неуловимых и бесконечных, как те чувства и эмоции, которые способен ощутить человек, всего-навсего включив такую музыку, как эта.

No Dog

With an arch of the neck and the bristling of fur,
I'll cling to the earth with a footing that's sure.
With sinewy limbs, pounding the ground,
By the scruff of your neck, I'll hold you for hours.

As brutes in a brawl, in an exchange of blows,
I'll spring for your throat, break open your bones.
With a punishing jaw, that's eager to grip,
Baring teeth that are starting to drip.

And I've fire in my heart and it's dogged and pure,
Just waiting to leap, to wrestle in dirt.
Is your steel true? Have you an iron will?
Have you mastered the laws that nature has built?

Because I am no man, but I am alive
And I am no dog, I am a wolf.

I! Am! No! Dog! I! Am! A! Wolf!
I! Am! No! Dog! I! Am! A! Wolf!

Esben and the Witch - No Dog

Gosh, how unique, intense and emotional this music is. This vocal gets under your skin, consuming you, while you are drowning in surging waves of divergent and diverse post-rock under the heavy skies of gloomy aesthetic. Each song of these guys sounds like a magical rite, bewitching you with all its entity and converting you to its religion...

Choke

Over time, I let that seed of uncertainty bloom into a tree.

A tree which cannot be cut down for me.
A compulsion which befell every part of me. 

I had crawled back into the rabbit hole

I thought I'd never return to, but I am accustomed.

To avoid any leaves of self doubt amidst loved ones.
The dirt and earth collapsed and trickled down above me,
behind me, as I burrowed deeper and deeper.
The more I struggle, the more I die.

Inevitability of darkness. What once was a seed of doubt
are roots that shelter me and remind me where I belong --
In a hole.
I choke on the world. I choke on the world.
And I swallow its contents painfully, yet willingly

Cara Neir - Choke

This is a long, entangled road through a cold autumn forest under the blackened skies, crying with small tears of rain. And I find an irresistible charm in these impenetrable twilight, concealing only sadness and unanswered questions, in these unhurried melancholic tunes that sound like a spell, like a prayer, like the silent conversations between the two irreconcilable parts of your soul...

The Family Disease

 

I'll vomit illusions,
Trick myself that i'm happy,
But so much comes out of my mouth it's burning me empty

I think my heart could receive it,
Cheap imposter where you heading,
Thank you my love would you believe me,
Thank you my love would you be listening.
But so much comes out of my mouth it's burning me empty

Feel me my anger's gone,
I don't breathe I only have a son,
It's not me (it's not me-e-e)
I'm not real, I Was never born

I am forever alive,
I hook my heart to my eyes,
I reach from birth just to die,
I keep the devil inside I grow him in me

I think my heart could receive it,
Cheap imposter where you heading,
Thank you my love would you believe me,

Thank you my love would you be listening.
But so much comes out of my mouth it's burning me empty.

Feel me my anger's gone,
I don't breathe I only have a son,
It's not me (it's not me-e-e)
I'm not real, I Was never born

I watched you choke on me,
You leave me unbalanced,
You come back to break them.

I am forever alive,
I hook my heart to my eyes

Oceana - The Family Disease

How could I look at you all this time but not see you? How could I exchange only fleeting glances with you, when now I just can’t take my eyes off you, I want to look at you endlessly? Drowning in the waves of melancholy, sadness and incredible beauty dissolved in your voice. A voice that can rise you to the top of the world and drown you down in the abyss of pain. To listen and ask a question: is there a limit to the beauty and these feelings that can fit in a person’s heart? And listening to this music, I restrain myself not to cry. But I won't cry. Walking here is endless. And I'll never want to leave this place.

The Jester

 Like a Jester at the ball
Rubbed my shoulders with the kings
And I was draped in gold and velvet
Bathing in applause while I was jumping through the rings
And then the cooks would sound a bell
And all the kings would lick their lips
But I couldn't find a place mat
The dinner table's full and there's no room for me to sit

Is there anybody out there looking out for me?
Just say you want me, just say you need me
Is there anybody out there looking out for me?
Does anybody need me?

Is every last soul just fucking me over?
With tears on their shoes and ice on their shoulders.
Is there anybody out there looking out for me?

Lord, I live to entertain
All my pride is in my praise
I hum along with this vibration
And hope to god I make it
If any chord that I could strum
Made me feel less like a man
I'd slam my fingers in the doorway
And shatter all the bones so I could never strum again

Is there anybody out there looking out for me?
Just say you want me, just say you need me
Is there anybody out there looking out for me?
For me?

Is every last soul just fucking me over?
With tears on their shoes and ice on their shoulders
Is there anybody out there looking out for me?

Badflower - The Jester

Who would have ever thought that musicians, trying to be so cool, pretentious and audacious, behind such a screaming and tasteless cover hide such soulful music, music, that crawl to the bones, creep into every secret corner of your soul, open the doors to where you have never been and for a so long time not allowing you to get out of these corridors, beyond the countless doors of which there are so many life stories, sad, devastating, rude, dirty, but so insanely poetic... I can't get it out from my head for weeks now and hope I will never be able to.

Friends in the Foyer

I remember singing with you
Our friends in the foyer come straight from the altar
And I recall believing in truth
But it seems like forever since I’ve really believed in anything

So now I just sing it off
These days, I just drink it off
So now I just sing it off, it off, it off

I remember laughing with them
Our friends in the forest, in that house on a mountain
In that cabin, we got real drunk
And on the ride back to Boston, I weeped as I questioned
The men and the women we’d become

But now it’s just a metaphor
God up in the clouds, where is he now?
But now it feels like novocaine
A drink on a warm night, something to soothe the pain

I remember singing with you
Our friends in the foyer, too

 Valleyheart - Friends in The Foyer

 

Lost between back then and forever after.

I guess I should have started with the song "Losing my Religion", but suddenly a melody of this song sounded in my player and I realized how much I want to return home.

This music throws so much feelings right at me, making me so comfort, so blissful and so sad in the same time. Like it whispers: "Life is a beautiful thing, but runs so fast, it goes furher away with every second, remember who you are and don't let go everynhing you chersish, because nothing ever will be the same as it was back then".

This song just takes me somewhere that feels like home... And I hope that this time there is no need for me to leave.

NightDrive

 

Drive too fast to give you a scare

Because I am sick and I hate myself for letting you panic

Runaways at our own pace

Set to make some great escape

But this is where we turn and walk away, away

Headed west toward sweet delusion

The pieces don't quite fit, vanity is nibbling at your ear

Like the many before you, you're gonna burn, burn, burn

I'll leave you here to kick, to kick and scream

Before you were hungry then the city chewed you up

And now you feel sick, sick to your shrunken stomach

(We are) Runaways at our own pace

Set to make some great escape

But this is where we turn and walk away, away

(We are) Opened up the world and saw its hate

The ways in which we can't relate

But this is where we turn and walk away, away

Run on home

Running free just to run and hide

Running free together

Running free to find each other

But we only found ourselves after all

Like the many before you, you're gonna burny yeah

(Burn, burn)

Running free

These walls don't remember

Running free to find each other

But we only found ourselves after all

Ghost Atlas - NightDrive

No, I'm the only one to burn this way because of you...

Détente

 

"When you return, I draw you near
Reassure, then disappear
A slight setback, a souvenir
But you've endured, persevered
A second guess will interfere
It's obvious it's insincere
Your success across the years
Concealed distress; I kept you here."

Weathered lines and scars, a tribute to the years
Turn back times lost on me
Bones ground down to silt, eroding to absolve
Toiling, time's lost on me

I'm carrying the weight of culpability
My cloud bears down upon you
Etched into my frame: 'desolation'
Written in my name, a legacy
Sweeping over me, a consolation
Blissful melody, a misery

"I will remain with you, reframing points of view;
You will remain with me, pursuing symmetry."

 

Rosetta - Detente

The philosophy of serenity, the art of sadness, the beauty of loss. This song is a relief, this music is a peace of mind.

Soda Pop Fiction

Flip the switch
Your move is open
Cut up the can you drank, it's gone

Watch as you slip

Into the wrong world
Watch as your eyes fill up with blood

You know, I need all, it all this fiction
Well it really messes with me

I need a lockjaw, to keep my mouth shut
To keep from saying, what I'm afraid of
I need a rocket, shoot into the moon
It's all part of my soda pop fiction

Dream

I spent a long time waiting to see
And if I come back, I'll be tasting the sweet
But my lips, the flavor sticks in my teeth
It gives a lot to all the fiction you read

I need a lockjaw, to keep my mouth shut
To keep from saying, what I'm afraid of
I need a rocket, shoot into the moon
I need the money but not to feel the attitude

I need a lockjaw, to keep my mouth shut
To keep from saying…

 Polyenso - Soda_Pop_Fiction / Neon Mirror (Instrumental) 

 

God, this thing is really a hard one... I just can't put this music into narrow confines of the words, can't display it's mood by any existing image. Absolutely strange, extraordinary, hypnotic, genuine and one of the all existing kinds. This complicated, multilayered, majectic music interwoven with one of the most beautiful and emotional vocal melodies I ever heard, honestly. This is the kind of music that will force itself into your mind and heart when you're most vulnerable and never leave. This music will make you vulnerablewithout any chanses to escape. This is nothing but incredible. This music is the new experine. This music is paradise.

Simmer

 Rage is a quiet thing
You think that you've tamed it
But it's just lying in wait
Oh, rage
Is it in our veins?
Feel it in my face when I least expect it

If I had seen my reflection
As something more precious
He would've never
Mmm, and if my child needed protection
From a fucker like that man
I'd sooner gut him
Cause nothing cuts like a mother

Give in

Control
There's so many ways to give in
Eyes closed
Another way to make it to 10
Oh, how to draw the line between wrath and mercy?
Simmer simmer simmer simmer simmer down

Control
There's so many ways to give in
Eyes closed
Another way to make it to 10
Oh, how to draw the line between wrath and mercy?
(Simmer, simmer, simmer, simmer, simmer, simmer)
Gotta simmer simmer simmer simmer simmer down

Wrap yourself in petals
Wrap yourself in petals
Wrap yourself in petals for armor
Petals for armor

Hayley Williams - Simmer

What a beautiful discover. The first time I heard this song, I stopped, held my breath and decided to save it for later, anticipating something genuine, unusual and great, and it's elusive echoes had already crept in my soul...

This song is a quiet thing. Unreachable and unforgettable. Atmospheric, dark and absolutely bottomless. The voice of this girl holds so many stories in every single word she spell, so much pain in every single note she sing. This voice contains so much strength, strenght of sound and strength of mind. And gosh, how beautiful her voice is and this song are...

Name Your God

 

Feel that fire beneath my toes
The world is burning all aglow
We missed the pardon, Heaven knows
Here for forever as human ghosts
We knew the stakes so take your place
I can't believe there's so much confusion on your face

So breathe in
(Let it out)
Through these charred lungs
(And breathe in)
To the end
(But the end was a casualty)

I'll take your mercy
Please take this pain
You did it once
This is just a misunderstanding
A little lie crept in my brain
I couldn't fight it so flesh becomes flame

One time the old man said
Keep God in your heart not your head
Don't ever let that in
(Don't ever let that in)
Because then you will see
(Name your god)
That I will not be here
(Name your god)
I will be at home
(Name your god)
Will you be there with me?
I don't know

I awoke so scared, more scared than I had ever been
Asking God to forgive each and every sin
Sweat poured from my head into my hands
As I sat there staring at them
Seven years and death at your door
The spirit's in the room begging for more
And thirty-five years, I still don't know
I still don't know where we all will go

Where will you go?
I don't know

Emery - Name Your God

This is the way the perfection, elegance and serenity sounds like... And it feels like you're running away from everything and everyone along a deserted beach, the wind blows your hair, soft sand caresses your feet, a measured sound of waves calms your heart, and wherever you go, wherever you look, everything you see is infinite: the endless sky above, an endless horizon all around, and it seems that your movement in this world is endless, too... Or maybe it really is?

Still

I'll wrap up my bones

And leave them

Out of this home

Out on the road

Two feet standing on a principle

Two hands longing for each others warmth

Cold smoke seeping out of colder throats

Darkness falling, leaves nowhere to go

It's spiraling down

Biting words like a wolf howling

Hate is spitting out each others mouths

But we're still sleeping like we're lovers

Still with feet touching

Still with eyes meeting

Still our hands match

Still with hearts beating

Two feet standing on a principle

Two hands longing for each others warmth

Cold smoke seeping out of colder throats

Darkness falling, leaves nowhere to go

Daughter - Still

/ The day will come when I will look in the sky the same way asking how are you there, without me... /

Whatever I say, my words will not be able to describe a small fraction of how beautiful this song is... This magic, ephemerality and depth of post-rock, this elusive and pure sadness, this genuine beauty. The voice of this girl is a pure fragile vessel filled with unique beauty and unbearable sadness. And I will keep it carefully, I promise.

The Dazzler

 The night is young at the Dazzler
I spiked my own drink, took myself to bed
Alone I pondered the cheap frills of hotels
The miniatures, the endless throwaway towels
One for my hair, one for my foot
Another for my other foot
My face, my neck, my spilled beverages

Drunk in my hotel room, I look perfect
I look like I'm 24 before I caught your coldness
God, I'm gorgeous
I keep begging for late checkouts
Let me stay here, let me live here
In room 232 till I expire, I can shower for hours
Leave the lights on, I'm not paying those bills

The neighbours are quiet, no one is back yet
I think about the falsity of hotel sex
Expensive bedsheets and the orange glowing filaments
The way you used to say you loved me
In the heat of it, holiday feeling
When it wasn't over too quick
Yeah, I'll throw the TV out the window
And I'll paint the whole room gold
I'll make potions with the minibar here
Yeah, I feel unbalanced, put my feet on the walls
Try and reach you all night, I'm not paying for calls

Oh, this is heaven
Alone
Yeah, this is living
Alone

 Ex:Re - The Dazzler

"This song hit me hard in many ways, I relate to it, it brings me back to the nights in the city where I would wander around and see all the happy couples walking around, laughing, kissing, cuddling, having dinner, living. The loneliness I felt was suffocating, I would call up guys for a cheap thrill, some sex in a decent hotel with some drinks just to feel something other than the emptiness inside me, growing. I would feel sick after like I was degrading myself for sinking this low just to escape my problems. 

I felt like nobody would love me in those times, I was kind of hoping that one day a guy wouldn’t just get up and leave once the sex ended. I was hoping they would stay and hold me and let me cry out all this sadness enveloping me, engulfing my being deep inside. There were many nights in that city, in those hotel rooms, of just loneliness, pleasure, relief, hopelessness and confusion, I could see the imprints of myself in the walls. 

My life is better now, I’m lucky for what I have and the guy I have in my life. I’ll never forget though those feelings and how close I was to ending it all in one of those rooms, each night was like a dance with death. Those memories feel like a blur, they’re strangely nostalgic. This song brings it all right out of me. I’m grateful for escaping that cycle, I know some that never escape."

For me loneliness and melancholy have never been sad, only romantic and so desired... But this music is so painful yet so beautiful I can even put in the words. This is too personal, too outspoken, too beautiful, too fragile yet too strong. This not just a song, this is a story of lonely soul in absolutely lonely world, told in a such a piercing way, that I feel myself as if I were you... And these feeling are so beyond all bearing... But this is heaven, alone. Yes, this is living, alone.

Familiar

Can you walk on the water if I, you and I?

Because your blood's running cold outside the familiar true to life

Can you walk on the water if I, you and I?

Or keep your eyes on the road and live in the familiar, without you and I

It glows with gates of gold, true to life

We took a walk to the summit at night, you and I

To burn a hole in the old grip of the familiar, you and I

And the dark was opening wide, do or die

Under a mask of vermillion ruling eyes

And our love is a ghost that the others can't see

It's a danger

Every shade of us you fade down to keep

Them in the dark on who we are

(Oh, what you do to me)

Gonna be the death of me

It's a danger

'Cause our love is a ghost that the others can't see

Agnes Obel - Familiar

This song is golden, like autumn leaves in the light, warm, like a mug of hot tea and a warm blanket on a rainy day, sad, like a whisper of the cold days that coming...

Quiet

Time does not bring relief; you all have lied 

Who told me time would ease me of my pain! 

I miss him in the weeping of the rain; 

I want him at the shrinking of the tide; 

The old snows melt from every mountain-side, 

And last year’s leaves are smoke in every lane; 

But last year’s bitter loving must remain 

Heaped on my heart, and my old thoughts abide. 

There are a hundred places where I fear 

To go,—so with his memory they brim. 

And entering with relief some quiet place 

Where never fell his foot or shone his face 

I say, “There is no memory of him here!” 

And so stand stricken, so remembering him.

This Will Destroy You - Quiet

A quiet farewell to everything that can't be last forever... Life, followed by death. The warmth of the hands, replaced by the coldness of loneliness. The sound of music fading into silence. The sadness that fills the void left after all of this. And the beauty left to live forever.